Someone who is immature
Try to limit your contact with the person. Depending on the severity of the person's immaturity and her willingness to change, you may need to cut her out of your life. If the immature person is your significant other, you may need to end the relationship if she is not willing to change. If the person is someone you can't remove from your life, such as a boss, coworker, or family member, then try to limit your contact as much as possible.
Keep your interactions as brief as possible. Excuse yourself from conversations firmly but politely, saying something like, "I'm sorry to cut this short, but I'm in the middle of a huge project and I really need to get back to it. Communicate assertively. An emotionally immature person can be manipulative and self-centered, so if you must communicate with him, try to do so clearly and assertively.
Assertive does not mean aggressive — it means being clear, respectful, and stating what you need, while at the same time being respectful of other people's needs, feelings, and wants. In Assertiveness: How to stand up for yourself and still win the respect of others. Kindle Books. In short, you state what you need, and let go of the outcome. Understand that even if you maturely communicate your needs, the immature person may not respond maturely.
Talk to the person. If you think the person is open to hearing feedback, and she is someone you want to keep in your life, then you may want to try and talk to her about her behavior. Prepare yourself for her to become defensive, which may interfere with getting your message across.
You might even suggest she talk to a counselor or someone who can help her learn how to communicate maturely. Name the behavior that is immature and what effects it has on you. For instance, "I feel overwhelmed when you don't take on more responsibility in the house.
Would you please help me out every week? You might remind her that change can be extremely difficult, but you want to be there with her and help her grow and mature, if she's willing. Method 3. Ignore the person and disengage. It's the easiest way and simplest reaction when the immature person is trying to get your attention or a reaction. By responding to the behavior, you're giving in to what she wants and reinforcing her immature actions.
Ignoring her will likely make her frustrated with her unsuccessful attack on you, and cause her to give up. If the immature person is losing her temper or trying to pick an argument, it's important for you to disengage from her efforts to upset you. Look away from her. Turn your head or avert your eyes. Turn your back to her. Even if she circles to face you, turn around again.
Walk away. Move with a purpose, avoiding her as quickly as possible until she stops following. Try an e-ignore approach. Talking to someone or bothering someone who is constantly on their phone or tablet is very difficult.
Ask the person to leave you alone. Gather up all your courage and politely ask him to leave you alone, while simultaneously removing yourself from the caustic environment. Simply repeat your refusal to engage over and over, "This conversation is over. Inform the person of her actions. It is possible the person doesn't realize she is being immature. Confronting the immature person bothering you and letting her know her actions are inappropriate may cause them to avoid you.
Please stop. Stop bugging me. Resist the urge to fight fire with fire. While you may be tempted to respond to the person immaturely as well, giving him a taste of his own medicine, this could seriously backfire.
If you are interacting with this person in a work situation, your immature behavior could get you in trouble. In addition, it might actually be dangerous to egg on an immature person who is also aggressive or has a temper. When you feel tempted to react to the person, be the mature one and disengage and walk away from him.
Get help. If the person is aggressive and won't stop bothering you, consult with a lawyer or the police. No one is allowed to harass or touch you. These people need outside influences to stop bothering you, and they probably won't until someone is able to exert influence they can't deny. Adults are seen as more immature if they still make dumb decisions on the spur of the moment.
Kids are generally short-term thinkers. If you give them a few dollars many are going to spend it a. Adults are better at seeing the bigger picture and delaying a pay off. Immature adults do things like spend their entire savings on an expensive car stereo system, even though they have rent due in a week. They either don't consider their finances at all, or do, but are too impatient to wait until they have more cash saved up.
Children aren't great at planning on their own. They need adults to force them to do things like set aside enough time to do their homework, because they'd watch TV or play video games all evening if left to their own devices.
Adults can come across as immature when they still haven't gotten the hang of managing their time and priorities e.
Not all kids are little daredevils, but overall children take more physical risks than adults. They'll see a tree and just start climbing it, or spend hours trying to jump their skateboard down a bunch of stairs.
As we age we get more careful. I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with an adult who's an adrenaline junkie. It's just that some people will see their behavior as less-mature, especially if they take risks for seemingly dopey, spontaneous reasons.
One of the classic images of immaturity is a grown man or woman who still can't do their own cooking or laundry, and has their parents or partner do it for them. It's even worse if they don't think they're doing anything wrong and believe everyone should keep taking care of them. As a kid you are reasonably entitled to things like food, shelter, and an education, as you can't get them yourself. As most people reach adulthood they realize they're expected to be independent going forward, and that they'll have to earn things like a fulfilling career or relationship.
Immature people keep believing they inherently deserve to have the things they want just given to them.
Kids see the world as revolving around them. There's nothing evil or mean-spirited about it. It's just how their brains are wired. Plus they're relatively helpless and their parents have to provide a lot of support, so it's natural they'd have a mindset where they think the universe caters to them.
As we mature we start to consider other people's needs and perspectives, and stop thinking everything is about us. A facet of being egocentric is viewing other people as objects to help you meet your own needs. Immature people can be thoughtless users or takers. For example, they'll use friends for favors or car rides. It's not out of malice, but because they take for granted that whatever they want will be everyone else's top priority too. When you're a child your parents pay for most things.
It's understandable that kids can't fully grasp the value of money, or the time and work it takes to earn it. They may assume someone will always buy them the things they need, or get mad because their parents can't get them some expensive new shoes at the drop of a hat. You'll come across as immature if you're grown, but still expect other people to pay your way, or you don't seem to appreciate it when they buy something for you.
When you're a kid you have some toys and clothes to call your own, but the bigger items are all owned by adults. The idea of, say, treating the washing machine well so it lasts longer isn't on your radar. For this reason kids and teenagers can give less consideration to other people's stuff.
Like a fourteen-year-old may borrow a friend's video game, but leave the disc out when they're not using it and let it get scratched. You'll be seen as immature if you're still casually thoughtless with other people's things when you're older. Generally speaking, children and teenagers aren't as empathetic as adults that's not to say they're completely heartless, or that every grown up is a saint.
Partially that's due to their egocentric orientation to life. They also haven't had as much time to learn about other people's perspectives and struggles. One side effect of lower empathy is being tactless, and blurting out whatever pops into your head, without considering how it could impact other people. This article covers a few others. One more worth mentioning in this piece is It's no secret that kids can be horrible to each other. Just being a jerk when you're older can cause everyone to see you as someone whose mind is still stuck in middle school.
You'll seem particularly immature if you act douchey in a style associated with kids. A few examples: Teasing people over pointless things they can't control, like their unusual last name Mocking someone for having a positive trait, like being smart Annoying people for your own amusement e.
Oh my god, you're such a wimp! Ha ha, I bet you puke!!! They try to get out of it. They won't say what they did, and hope no one notices. If they're confronted they may deny they had a part in it, or try to blame someone else.
Even if they're given ironclad evidence they screwed up, they may refuse to admit what they did was wrong. When a mature adult makes a mistake they step up and try to make things right. Immature adults still behave like kids who will do anything to avoid "getting in trouble".
Immature people also don't think anything is their fault. If they get reprimanded at their job for always being late, it's not that they need to work on their priorities or time management skills. Their boss is a jerk and out to get them, and the traffic is bad, and there are long lines at the place where they stop to get coffee on the way to work. If they get into an argument with their partner they may say something like, "You made me get mad and snap at you. Some kids go through a phase where they lie a lot for no reason other than it's a new thing they've realized they can do.
Most people have had a high school classmate who B. And some adults have had that immature friend who still feels the need to spin elaborate tales about the high-end nightclub they're about to open. Kids are naturally distractible, have trouble sitting still, and quickly get bored if they're not being entertained.
People naturally get better at holding their attention and tolerating a lack of stimulation as their brains develop. There are some legitimate reasons someone may carry these traits into adulthood, like having ADHD.
However, at a glance someone might see them as a sign of immaturity. No one wants to be completely ignored, but overall adults don't need to constantly have the focus on them the way kids do. Children will get antsy if the adults in the room talk just to each other for too long. She writes often about the intersections between health, wellness, and the science of human behavior. Find her at cindylamothe. Most people want a healthy relationship, but what does that really mean?
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Medically reviewed by Timothy J.
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